Regrets
by the-curse-of-angelica
Summary: After his fight with Sasori, Kankuro recalls the first and last time Gaara called him brother.


**This takes place after Kankuro's fight with Sasori…**

The pain as the poison spread through his body was excruciating, yet somehow, through all of it, Kankuro was still able to think clearly. He felt more pain from the fact that he had let those fiends take away his one and only younger brother to use him for who knows what evil plans. He had never said sorry for the way he had treated Gaara as a kid. Not that he hadn't had the chance, it just wasn't like Kankuro (or any of the sand siblings) to apologize for anything. But now he knew he would never have the chance again. He was going to die after all. Kankuro had many regrets, but as he lay there in the sand village infirmary, he decided if there was one day he could choose to change it would be the day that Gaara had called him brother, for the first and last time…

It was in the dead of night when Kankuro was awoken by the sound of paper bombs exploding. Even though he was only seven, Kankuro was used to this sound and decided to go back to sleep. The sand village was not the most peaceful of villages, especially with someone as cruel as his father for Kazekage. He drifted off again but right when he was on the verge of sleeping Kankuro heard the sound of a small child crying right down the hallway from him. He decided to go investigate.

It was Gaara. The Jinchuriki was sitting on the floor with his back up against the wall sobbing. It was probably one of the strangest things Kankuro had ever seen. _So the little creep does have feelings,_ he thought. Gaara lifted his head out of his hands and looked up at his brother. Kankuro gasped when he saw Gaara's forehead. Carved into the boy's skin was the kanji for love.

Gaara saw what Kankuro was staring at and asked, " What is love, I don't understand? Please tell me." There was a hopeful look in his eyes as he waited for Kankuro to answer.

Kankuro didn't fully understand Gaara's question. All he knew was that this kid was a freakishly scary maniacal monster (despite his cute and childish features) who he didn't want to deal with. He said rather timidly, " Uh, Gaara… wh-why not go a-ask your uncle. You and he, er get along good so yeah…" He drifted off and scratched the back of his head hoping the freak would leave him alone.

Instead Gaara's face twisted and grew even more angry and hateful at the mention of his uncle. If Kankuro had looked closer he would have seen hurt and sorrow reflected in those black-rimmed eyes, but he didn't. Instead he felt more scared of the brat. Gaara then spoke, " He's dead. He told me he cared about me and then tried to kill me. He told me that when you love someone you try to protect that person. But he tried to hurt me. Tell me the truth Kankuro."

The truth? The truth was he hated the freak that was his little brother. He was too young to understand the fact that it wasn't Gaara's fault. He didn't realize the immense pain that Gaara went through each and avery day. How could he, he was only seven after all. All he knew was that he was tired of being controlled by the fear he had of this monster. He wouldn't be bossed around by someone so small and weak looking anymore. And he didn't have to answer those stupid questions about love. A murderer who had killed his own uncle would never understand. But the truth was, Kankuro himself never really understood it in the first place.

"Go back to your own room Gaara, I don't feel like talking to you. Just leave me alone," he said a bit timidly at first. He turned to go back into his room but was shocked when Gaara reached out to him.

" Brother, wait!" Kankuro turned back to Gaara's tear filled eyes, his anger clearly showing on his face. That monster had dared to call him brother.

" Never call me that again!" he yelled, " You're not my brother. You're just a freak who killed my mother and uncle. I hate you!"

He stopped shouting when he saw Gaara's eyes narrow. After a few moments of silence, Gaara replied, " I don't like that word 'Hate', I will hurt anyone who says that to me ever again. And if you're not my brother then I won't feel any guilt about hurting you."

Kankuro had just enough time to see sand starting to rise around Gaara before he ran back into his room in terror and locked the door. He couldn't fall back to sleep that night and vowed to never anger Gaara again. But that didn't mean he couldn't hate him…

Kankuro never thought of Gaara as a brother in the years to come. When he grew older he acknowledged the fact that sometimes Gaara wasn't able to control the demon within him and that it wasn't his fault. But he was still a murderer who didn't care about anyone. Kankuro never really saw Temari as a sister either. She was simply a comrade who had to put up with the same things he did. They both had to stay out of Gaara's way and hope he was merciful when they made mistakes.

Somehow though, their whole lives got turned upside down and became something close to good because of one goofy blonde haired kid who barely knew how to fight. It one day and one battle to show Gaara the true meaning to life. It was something Kankuro, with his cold, sad heart, could never have done. He was Gaara's one and only older brother, yet he was never able to teach Gaara anything. He didn't even see what happened between Gaara and leaf village kid. He hadn't even seemed like a threat at all, but when they came to pick Gaara up after the fight, he was bloody, bruised, and barely able to walk. The same Gaara who had never even been injured in his life before that day. And then something miraculous happened. He apologized to them.

Kankuro never fully understood what had happened that day. Gaara told him that the reason why that kid had won the fight was because he was trying to protect the people closest to him. The people he loved. The annoying blonde kid's selfless display of love had given Gaara the answer he had looked for all this time. The answer Kankuro couldn't give him.

Despite all of this, however, Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara still weren't much of a family. They were comrades who respected each other, but that was all. And now Gaara was gone and Kankuro was dying. There would never be another chance to apologize for that day…

Then, he felt pain. Of course he had been in pain this whole time from the poison. But this was different. It came with relief. Slowly, Kankuro felt his consciousness being drawn back into his body. He opened his eyes. People he didn't completely recognize were standing all around him. As his vision cleared, Kankuro recognized the pink-haired kunoichi from the leaf village. She was saying something about an antidote. He looked around and his eyes landed on Temari. She looked the most scared he had ever seen her be in his life. She stared at him wide – eyed, waiting for him to say something.

He smiled reassuringly and said, " I'm sorry to make you worry." She smiled back and started to rant at him about being more careful, but he wasn't really listening. He looked around some more and saw him, the kid from the leaf village who had changed everything. The kid looked back at him steadily. Kankuro spoke then, addressing the kid directly, " Naruto Uzumaki, take care of my little brother."

It was the first time he had ever said those words 'little brother'. Everyone was shocked.


End file.
